Building Blocks To Your Best Marriage:

Marriage by definition is the "institution of two people becoming joined together."  This practice is a social, a legal, and a moral institution.   Marriage has been a foundational institution existing on nearly every continent and in nearly every social group.   There are many variations found around the world and found at different times in history, but the dominant model has been one man with one woman joining themselves together for the intended purpose of cohabitation and/or producing children and raising them to adulthood.  One could argue some other scenario, but this model dominates all others by a significant margin.  This will be the assumed pattern in the pages that follow.

Modern America would place the feeling of love at the top of the list.  Marriage, however, can't be dependent on an emotion which may come and go daily.  Furthermore the understanding of love has many variations and is understood by different people in different ways.  Certainly the feeling of love is important but should not be the the final or only element behind a marital commitment.  I accept the importance of having, maintaining, and developing love feelings, but this part of the relationship is simply the motivation which starts the process of developing the underpinnings which will build and sustain a long term, rewarding, and mature relationship.

 Now let's list some of the other qualities which are foundational to a healthy and long term marital relationship.

The wedding ceremony is just the beginning.  It's what happens after the rings have been passed, the vows agreed upon, and license signed that make the difference.  Marriage is a wonderful institution but no better than the effort that both people put into the relationship!  I believe that the care taken from the beginning of the relationship can greatly impact the future of the union.

Issues such as an individual's maturity level, an individual's personal goals, the understanding of life in terms of big picture issues, and the values and patterns that one has already developed in their life are very important.  One's level of honesty, ability to communicate, and ability to deal with difficulties is also very important.  Finally, past family histories, individual personality traits, individual financial patterns, and the level to which one has been a responsible person, also define one's ability to sustain a productive marriage.  It must be understood that all people have faults and no one has ever achieved perfection, but these issues certainly have relevance when considering a long term mate.  As we consider the traits of a potential spouse, we must also consider our own traits and how they would impact the relationship.

In the following sections we will consider these, and other issues in more detail.

To get to pages which cover the topics listed below, click on the topic title just under the page heading at the top of this page:

This page containes the three topics listed below.  Access them by clicking on the topic at the top of the page just under the heading!

 1. The ability to communicate

2. The ability to resolve problems

3. The impact of attitude and personality

Now go to page two by clicking on the link below.

Now go to:  www.markbayersmarriageii.mysite.com  for more information;

This is page two of my Marriage Web site.  Click on the link above to go to the next topics.  Once on page two, the topics are accessed by clicking on the links just under the page heading.  Thanks for visiting.

4. Sexuality

5. Developing financial harmony

6. Dealing with expectations

7. Other Issues

8. Conclusion and Resource Page

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